The Best Article Of All Time

I know what you are thinking: This is quite the claim. How can I, an awesome high school student, mastermind the objectively best article of all time? Well the answer to that question is this: I am not capable of such a task. However what I am capable of is informing you of what the best article in the world will have!

An Attention Grabbing Title

The best article of all time will definitely have a title that says it all. It will be able to inform the reader what they are in for in less than seven words but more than five. It will have a bold claim that cannot help but to announce to the reader, “Read me, I matter.” It will basically state that it is the best article of all time.

Yeah like that

Rich Organized Content

If nothing else, the best article of all time will most definitely have this. Even if the subject of the article is something ridiculous, the author will be able to present in such a way that the reader will not be able to stop reading until its completion. So long as the writer makes coherent points and writes with just enough detail they can write about any topic (like the best column in the world or something). Of course, what good would the information be if it was not put in an easy to read format? A nice way to organize the information is to place it in appropriate sections that cover certain topics.

Yeah like that

Interesting Syntactical Patterns

This is just me being nitpicky. I like short sentences in writing. However, every now and then I like a good medium- sized sentence that engages me. Even more so, I like a longer sentence that flows nicely and makes good use of figurative language, like a poet who had just been struck with the lightning of inspiration. It really is best when the writer mixes the length. It really demonstrates his talent as a verbal contortionist... I can’t think of an example. Moving on.

Compelling Argument

What would a story be without a purpose? It is impossible to tell what the topic of the best article of all time will be, but I have a pretty good idea of what it will do with that topic. The best article of all time will take a side on a subject and argue for it. It will make a bold statement about it and make a compelling argument in favor of its position. It will use every aspect of itself as a point and most importantly be able to make it interesting. It will leave the reader satisfied and asking questions like, “Is there any more to this subject?” “Does this affect me?” “How can I get involved?” “Why is prune juice a thing?”.

Conclusion

The best article of all time will not be created any time soon. There is just no writer bold enough, no writer brilliant enough, no writer satirical enough, to be able to produce a piece that has all of the aforementioned qualities. Well there is, but Diana was writing something else, so in the meantime I hope this will suffice.